ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
