I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
