YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
