Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
