Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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