Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
