Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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