they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
