Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
time to smoke my breakfast
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize