then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
