We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
me + whiskey = a bad person
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize