Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
