It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
