ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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