He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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