you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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