he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Boobs speak an international language.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
