Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
