I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
