Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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