David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
