and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
