Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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