she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
