They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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