Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
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