I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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