i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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