We're like a lot better than the average bears
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Don't tell me you're on acid again
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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