Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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