is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
