And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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