Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
