My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
