How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
