I molested 6 butterflies tonight
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
