my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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