can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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