Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
