So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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