Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
