Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
