u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
