i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
