Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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