sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
