Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
