I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
