Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
