I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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