He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize