i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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