is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
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