so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
