i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
