wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
