i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
