I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
