New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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