I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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